Parenthood

So I've been a mom for 6 weeks and 2 days. How does it feel? Amazing! I would like to say that motherhood starts when you get pregnant because you start caring for that baby from the start. I know I did. I made sure I ate a decent diet. Ok, so of course I had some cookies and some ice cream and tons of crackers, but I tried. I didn't drink. Not one sip of alcohol entered my body after I saw the positive results. So anyways, to clarify, I've been a mom for about 11 months now. Yes, I'm taking the credit for that long. Why not? Well, being a mother, like I said, feels amazing. It feels natural and like I was meant to be a mom. I know that sounds corny, but it's true. When I finally got to hold my baby girl for the first time, I felt at ease. I was completely exhausted, as well. So if there was any anxiety in me, it was downplayed from my exhaustion. I think maybe being around babies my whole life had something to do with the feeling of ease. I've changed plenty of diapers in my life before Abrielle came along so that wasn't a big deal. I've never breast fed, but I had the general idea from helping my patients breast feed their babies for the first time. It also helped that Abrielle came out ready to eat. She latched on like it was her job. Of course I've held plenty of babies in my life, as well. So I didn't feel like I was going to break her. Babies aren't as fragile as people think they are. They're tough. They can handle it. I'm not saying go and throw the kid around to see if they can tough it out. I'm just saying you don't have to act like you're going to break a baby if you move them the wrong way. So basically, growing up around babies and children and working in labor and delivery, I think, helped me ease into motherhood. I don't know how I would act if I didn't have that experience. Ryan hasn't had the experience I've had, but I think he's doing well. He's good with her. He loves her to death. We both do. I really think it's amazing how God made us because just when you think your heart is full because you love so many people so much, He makes room for more. You would think when you have that much love for others, you don't have more to give out to new people, but you do. In fact, I feel like my heart wants to burst because I love my daughter so much. It's seriously one of the best feelings ever. I want to have at least one more child, but at the same time, I don't. I love Abrielle so much, I don't want another child to take away any attention I have to give to Abrielle. I want to make sure I love any other child just as much. I don't see how that's possible. I know it is, I'm just throwing my thoughts out there. I know you love your children equally. You love them in different ways. If parents loved each child they had less than the one before, I don't think they would have more than one child. It's just I have so much love for Abrielle, how could I possibly love another child this much? I guess it's like I said before. God gave us expandable hearts.
So it's been 6 weeks and 2 days. I wouldn't say I've lost lots of sleep. Sure, the first few weeks were a little rough, and I still have some rough days now and then, but for the most part, I get plenty of sleep. She's actually been sleeping anywhere from 6-8 hours a night. Not bad at all. The first night I brought her home, I got no sleep at all. I think she was up every hour wanting to eat. I was so tired. Thankfully my mom and in-laws were still here. They watched her so I could take a morning nap. Naps are wonderful. I've been loving naps even more since I was pregnant. I was actually more exhausted while being pregnant than I am now. I'm sure it helps that I don't work. If I had to get up and go to work, I would probably be begging for sleep. We've gotten into a routine. So she'll wake up in the morning around 5 or 6. I change her diaper, and then bring her in with me. I feed her then we take a morning nap together. So then I get up around 9. We hang out. I put her on the floor on her floor toy. She entertains herself while I make myself some breakfast so I don't pass out from lack of food. Then she eventually wants to eat again so I will feed her. I usually have to change a dirty diaper once or twice before she falls back to sleep again. I'll put her in her swing, and she'll swing away for several hours before waking up again. While she's sleeping, I try to get things done around the house. I'll clean the house or do some laundry or watch my shows or whatever. She gets good sleep time in that swing. I love it! I try to do some "education time" with her every day. While she sits with me, I'll tell her where her nose and eyes are, and we'll sing our abc's or count to ten. I also have a book that's called "First Words." I'll read this book with her. The book says for 9 months and up, but I don't think there's any harm in starting now.
So when Abrielle isn't sleeping, she's eating. If she's not eating, I'm changing her diaper. Let me tell you. This child of mine poops like crazy. Seriously. I don't know how many poopy diapers I change a day. There have been times where I go through 3 diapers in one diaper change. I'll get the poopy diaper out from under her, put the clean diaper under her, then she coughs or sneezes and more poop comes out. I mean, come on. Thank goodness for oxiclean because otherwise, I would have a lot of pooped stained clothes/blankets/changing pad cover etc on my hands. I think Abrielle gets more gasy at night. After feeding her and making sure her diaper is clean, she'll cry and cry and cry. Then the poop comes. She gets so mad. We'll be changing her diaper, and she continues to cry. She's crying so hard because she's so mad that more poop comes out. We kind of have to let her sit there until we think she's done. Otherwise, we'll go through more diapers than needed in one diaper change. I bought the gas medicine for her. It seems to help sometimes. Other times I think she likes to hear herself cry. She is a little drama queen. I think we're in trouble if she's starting it already. At night, when it's close to bedtime, she takes forever to go to sleep. Her eyes will be half closed, and she refuses to go to sleep. I don't know what she thinks she'll miss out on if she goes to bed. We just want to go to bed also. She's been going to bed around 10 or 10:30. Then she'll get up around 5 or 6. Then we start all over again.
I'm also learning when Ryan and I should eat dinner. Too many times we sit down to eat, and then she wakes up and wants fed. So I either have to scarf down my food or reheat it. So I've learned to make dinner earlier. We were eating dinner around 6is. Now we eat an hour earlier so we can actually enjoy our meal hot.
So basically things are going well. Ryan is changing diapers. Of course he tries to get out of it more than he should, but he's doing his part. There's been a few times where he's gotten pooped on or majorly spit up on. I have to laugh when this happens. He was sitting on the couch one night with Abrielle in his lap. She started pooping. You can usually hear when she's pooping. Ryan waited to make sure she was done. Not sure exactly what he was doing, but at one point he felt his shirt and asked me to turn on the light. When I did, we saw a spot of poop on his shirt. I was laughing so hard. It took me a minute to get up and get Abrielle because it was so funny. Oh, poor Ryan. Welcome to fatherhood.
I love playing dress up with Abrielle. She has the cutest clothes, and she looks adorable in everything she wears. I love putting matching bows in her hair. The cuteness just beams off of her. I love it. I'm sure she's thrilled too. I can't wait until I can paint her toenails. The joy of having a girl. I told Ryan the other day that I think we're going to have all girls. He thought that was mean to say. I think it's funny. Of course I would like to have a boy, but you can't make it to be a boy. I've also become one of those parents that constantly takes pictures of their children. It will probably only get worse as she gets older because she'll start doing more cute things. When she started smiling, oh goodness, I was all over it with my camera. I make sure my camera is close at all times. I want to capture every moment. Time really does go by fast. I'm really trying to enjoy every moment of it.
I will admit I have gotten frustrated. Sometimes when she's crying, and I can't calm her down, I do get a little frustrated. I hate not knowing what's wrong. She can only cry, she can't tell me her belly hurts. So I go put her in her crib so I can take a breather. Then I go get her, and then she's fine. I don't know. It's weird. I haven't had to do that in a while. She hasn't cried non-stop like that for a while. There was a time where she wouldn't go to sleep unless someone was holding her. It's not so much like that anymore. During the day, if she's fussy, and I know it's because she's tired, I'll put her in her swing, and she goes right to sleep. At night, I get her to the point where she's basically sleeping while I'm holding her. Then I put her in her crib, and somehow she wakes up. I let her lie there, and she eventually falls to sleep. Unfortunately, when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she doesn't fall right back to sleep. She's usually awake for an hour. So I will hold her or put her in her swing. She gets to the point where she's ready to go back to sleep so I can put her back in the crib, and she'll eventually go back to dreamworld.
I'm never board with her. Just looking at her makes me smile. When she's sleeping, she makes noises. When I'm changing her diaper, (I told you I change lots of diapers) or changing her clothes, she makes grunting noises. It's like she's doing all of the work. It makes me laugh. My animals are used to her being around. Loui, my cat, never really cared too much. As long as he gets fed, he's good. He has sniffed her and her things, but that's about it. He doesn't go out of his way to see her. Niko did lots of sniffing. I was never worried how he would be. I knew he wouldn't hurt her. For a few weeks he would get real anxious when she cried. He would pace around the house. Now he's kind of used to it. Sometimes the way he looks at me it's like he's begging for me to make her stop crying. I've tried to make sure my animals get the attention they need. Like I said, Loui is fine as long as his bowl has food in it. Niko is the one who gets jealous. I know he doesn't get the attention he once got, but I try to make sure he's not completely ignored. He's still my baby.
Well, I think I've said enough. I'm loving life right now. I live in a beautiful place. I'm married to a wonderful guy. I have the most beautiful baby. What else could I ask for? God has blessed me, and I don't thank Him enough. So if you have questions, just ask. Until next time...